Introduction:

Here’s something that might surprise you: The art of negotiation most times has less to do with who has the most power but who is applying their skill of negotiation and understanding the situation the best. 
You don’t know what you don’t know—and you can’t negotiate effectively until you do. Identifying how to fill in the blind spots is where the skills come into play. 
In my recent conversation with Derrick Chevalier, world-renowned negotiator and creator of the CNSUF (Comprehensive Negotiating Strategies Universal Framework), we discussed a pattern that’s costing entrepreneurs millions in missed opportunities and failed partnerships. Most people think they’re negotiating when they’re actually just operating on assumptions, beliefs, and presumptions that may be completely wrong.
The solution isn’t better tactics or stronger positions. It’s learning how to gain clarity in real-time about what you’re actually facing—whether that’s your own limiting beliefs or the hidden agenda of the person sitting across from you.
True negotiations don’t start until you understand what you’re looking at.

The $100,000 Partnership That Looked Perfect on Paper

Before diving into complex theory, let’s start with a straightforward scenario every entrepreneur will recognize. You and a partner each invest $100,000 into a new business venture. Both of you own 50% of the company. You both share decision-making equally. On its surface, this would appear to be an equal and fair partnership.
But what if you knew that your $100,000 represents every dollar you have, while their $100,000 is mere pocket change from a much larger portfolio? Suddenly, that “equal” partnership looks very different.
“If the hundred thousand that I put in is every nickel I have to my name and the hundred thousand you put in is a drop in the bucket in your network, we’ve never been in an equal position,” Derrick explains. “You could walk away, and it’s a dip in your account. But it would destroy me.”
This isn’t about the partnership being unfair—it’s about operating without critical information. The ramifications of consequences and the risks attached. Put in context that changes what seemed equal to a clear disadvantage with a steep cost if things don’t go smoothly.
The question isn’t whether this was a good or bad deal. The questions are: 1. What are the risks of taking this approach, and do you have contingencies or any documented way of protecting what would be a life-altering situation versus that drop in the bucket to them?
2. Have you discussed the discrepancy in what’s at risk with the partner?
3. Are you basing the decrease of risks on assumptions and presumptions or a conversation and documentation that evens out the risks.

The War Zone Lesson That Saves Lives and Deals

This insight crystallized for Derrick during his time as an 18-year-old soldier in a war zone. Standing at the edge of what appeared to be a peaceful rice paddy, he faced a choice that would later become the foundation of his entire framework.
The scene looked perfect—emerald green fields, farmers working with water buffalo, a beautiful day after weeks of tension. “I thought to myself, This is beautiful. And this could be a rice paddy. And we could just get to the other side. Maybe everybody is cool and I could go over for dinner.”
But in wartime, appearances were deadly. You couldn’t distinguish between genuine civilians and enemy combatants hiding in plain sight. That beautiful rice paddy could hide mines that would cost him his life.
The critical realization: “I don’t know if this is a rice paddy that is booby trapped or is a rice paddy that’s not. I don’t know. That’s what I know. And so, if I know that I do not know... is that going to change the way I walk through? Yes, I got a stick; I got something.”
He wasn’t being paranoid. He was being smart. He accepted he didn’t know what he didn’t know, and adjusted his approach accordingly.
That mindset saved his life. Years later, it became the core principle of effective negotiation: you can’t make good decisions until you acknowledge what you don’t actually know about the situation you’re facing.

The Belief-Presumption-Consequence Trap That Controls Your Decisions

Most people operate on a dangerous three-step pattern that Derrick calls the belief-presumption-consequence chain:
1. Belief: What you think is true about a situation
2. Presumption: The action you take based on that belief
3. Consequence: What actually happens when reality doesn’t match your belief
Derrick illustrated this with the $100K partnership example. Someone may have the belief that it’s going to be an equal partnership with equal risks and rewards. The presumption is that they’re on even footing and have nothing to worry about. The consequence could be you’re dealing with someone who will write it off as a loss and move on without a second thought. Whereas it could cripple the person who invested his or her savings. Without a conversation covering that what-if scenario, the person is creating a blind spot that could have serious consequences.
Here’s the key insight: Most of what we call “negotiation” is just people acting on presumptions without testing whether their beliefs match reality.
You think you know what motivates the other person. Assume you understand their constraints. You presume you know what they really want. But until you’ve asked the right questions to confirm these assumptions, you’re not negotiating—you’re guessing.

The CNSUF Framework: How to Gain Clarity in Real-Time

The Comprehensive Negotiating Strategies Universal Framework isn’t about manipulation or power plays. It’s about developing the skill to uncover what you don’t know in real-time, so your decisions are based on actual information rather than assumptions.
The fundamental principle: “I am much more interested in understanding what I don’t know than I am about sharing with you what I do know and what I do want and what I do need.”
This flips the traditional negotiation on its head. Instead of presenting your position and trying to convince others, you focus on gathering information until you understand what you’re actually dealing with.
These aren’t interrogation tactics—they’re clarity-seeking questions that reveal what you’re actually negotiating.

The Jerry Maguire Technique: Getting Information Without Asking For It

One of the most powerful tools in the CNSUF framework is what Derrick calls the “Jerry Maguire”—a method for getting people to provide information willingly, adapted from the famous movie scene.
At its most basic: “Help me help you. Talk to me like I’m four years old. What do we need to get done here?”
But the real skill comes in the variations that create the same result without being obvious:
The 3 a.m. Phone Call Effect: If Derrick called you at 3 a.m., your first words would be “What’s wrong?” He didn’t have to say anything—the unusual circumstances automatically set the tone and put you on high alert. That taps into assumptions and presumptions. The consequence is inviting the person to tell you whatever it is they had on their mind but from a place of concern and empathy.
The Strategic Pause: After asking “How are you?” and instead of hearing “I’m great,” simply staying silent. The awkward silence will compel them to fill the space.
The Joy Question: Instead of asking, “What are your pain points?” (which everyone expects), try, “How much joy are you up for today?” This catches people off-guard and reveals different information. It sets the tone for someone not just to hear you out but to listen more intently.
Each variation helps you understand what you’re actually dealing with, rather than what someone wants you to think you’re dealing with.

When True Negotiations Actually Begin

Here’s the critical distinction: True negotiations don’t start when two parties sit down together. They start when you’ve gathered enough information to understand what you’re actually facing.
Until that point, you’re operating with what Derrick calls the “minefield mentality.” Just like that rice paddy in wartime, situations often look safer than they really are. The smart approach is to “use the tools that I have available to me that increase the likelihood that I make it to the other side okay.”
This means:
• Testing assumptions before committing: Don’t presume you know someone’s motivations
• Asking clarifying questions: Understand not just what they want, but why they want it
• Recognizing influence vs. persuasion: Are they trying to convince you openly, or creating circumstances that lead you to conclusions?
• Understanding real consequences: What are the actual stakes for all parties involved?

The Cook, Baker, or Order Out Assessment

Once you have clarity about what you’re facing, you can choose the right approach. Derrick’s framework offers three options:
Be a Cook: When you have flexibility and can adapt to whatever resources are available. “I can go into any environment and make something to eat out of what’s there.”
Be a Baker: When precision is required and there’s less room for improvisation. You need to follow established processes carefully.
Order Out: When the situation requires creating an entirely new approach that didn’t exist before.
The key is that you can only make this assessment after you understand what you’re actually dealing with. Without that clarity, you’re just guessing which approach to use.

The Implementation Framework for Real-Time Clarity

Here’s how to apply these principles starting immediately:
Week 1: Accept What You Don’t Know
• Before every important conversation, list your assumptions about the other person’s motivations, constraints, and desired outcomes
• Practice saying “I don’t know” when you actually don’t, instead of pretending you do
• Start conversations with information-gathering questions rather than position statements
Week 2: Develop Clarity-Seeking Questions
• Replace “What do you want?” with “Help me understand what success looks like for you”
• Instead of presenting solutions, ask “What would need to be true for this to work for you?”
• Practice the Jerry Maguire: “Help me help you—what do I need to understand?”
Week 3: Distinguish Influence from Persuasion
• Notice when someone is openly trying to convince you (persuasion) vs. creating circumstances that lead you to conclusions (influence)
• Practice creating influence through unusual questions or strategic pauses
• Recognize when your own assumptions are being shaped by someone else’s agenda
Week 4: Real-Time Application
• Use the cook/baker/order out assessment once you have clarity about each situation
• Test your new understanding by asking follow-up questions that confirm or challenge what you’ve learned
• Make decisions based on information rather than assumptions

The 21st Century Reality That Changes Everything

Unlike negotiation frameworks developed decades ago, CNSUF was built for today’s reality of instant communication, global connectivity, and AI-assisted decision making. As Derrick noted: “The idea to suggest that something that was developed in the seventies before you had Zoom and AI and for that matter, a cell phone... is ridiculous.”
But the core principle remains timeless: You can’t make good decisions about situations you don’t actually understand.

Your Next Move

The most important takeaway isn’t a technique or tactic—it’s a fundamental shift in how you approach any uncertain situation.
Stop pretending you know more than you do. Start accepting that you don’t know what you don’t know. Begin asking questions that reveal what you’re actually facing, whether that’s your own limiting beliefs or someone else’s hidden agenda.
As Derrick put it: “Skill will often overcome power in many instances.” The skill he’s talking about is the ability to gain clarity in real-time about what you’re actually negotiating.
Once you develop that skill, every conversation becomes more productive, every partnership becomes more genuine, and every business decision becomes more informed.
The next time you think you’re entering a negotiation, ask yourself: Do I actually know what I’m dealing with here, or am I just operating on assumptions?
That question alone will put you ahead of 90% of the people you’ll ever do business with.

Closing

Connect with Derrick Chevalier:
• Website: [Book a 30-minute consultation]
• Book: Evolve or Be Slaughtered: Negotiation for the 21st Century
• LinkedIn: Derrick Chevalier
About the Author: Sean M. Atkinson is a brand and marketing strategist who helps entrepreneurs build sustainable businesses through strategic thinking and intentional execution. Host of The Strategic Thinkers Podcast, he specializes in helping business owners gain clarity about what they’re actually facing in their most important decisions.
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